Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Media Watch style response

Occassionally somebody writes something that misses the point so absolutely, it is necessary to write a response that simply corrects their mistakes in managing to read text. I will attempt to assay the role of the respected Jonathan Holmes and merely correct errors made in the written form and not respond to the point-scoring therein...

Quotations below come from the latest blog entry by 'Matty Knoller' at this address, the second he has addressed directly at me although the others have now been deleted, it would seem. All emphasis in quotes has been added.

However both individual during their short stays on my forum, registered with full emails, IPs visible and in one case in their full name. Those same IPs are visible on the history changes of the Wikia page. Clearly cyber-crime is not their forte!

Except that they were invited to post on your forums by you, yourself. No purpose was to be served by hiding identity and no crime was attempted much less committed.

Young master Hansen though hasn't realised that 'it's over'.

The advice I gave to 'XXXX' was to ignore any future posts, which I am currently ignoring myself by posting this as it would happen, but I'll maintain a clear conscience over the matter. If you actually check the date on the original post, you'll see it was made on the same day as the original post by Mr Mallett, not the day he happened to first read it.

That's assuming I saw it from the day it went up. It also assumes he knows what 'college professors' are all capable of and that they are all capable of the same thing!

No it isn't. This passage is primarily what made me write this response, as you quoted me entirely out of context quite bizarrely. In the passage he quotes, as can be seen in the post beneath this one, I was referring to a minor dispute between a rap group named Insane Clown Posse and a vlogger on YouTube named Zinnia Jones.

My Doctorate is very real. I have written only two theses and not three (as my first was awarded first class honours I qualified to enter a PhD program at my university) and the last one was marked and approved by very distinguished academics both here and in the USA. Just because you may be at a certain level doesn't mean others who are at a higher level of academic achievement appreciate being libelled and won't act. You don't do that without being able to think and write at a very high level of proficiency. I can't show you my Doctorate without revealing my true name. For the sake of not re initiating a dispute with the original individual I'm not going to 'republish' my responses to his comments, needless to say my arguments were sound or be provoked into revealing my actual identity.

I'm grateful for this paragraph to an extent because it explains how on Earth Mallett thought he had grounds for a libel lawsuit against me. 'The user' I referred to and described as a 'high school dropout' is again Zinnia Jones the YouTube vlogger who I was discussing in the paragraph which he has quoted. I have to admit, I cannot clearly remember whether she stated she was a high school or college dropout so I may have inadvertently libelled HER, so apologies if Ms Jones finds this blog and I will be happy to correct the error, if indeed one has been made.

Particularly if the best you can come up with is that 'I'm working on three novels, and I have several unfinished scripts.' At least the other couple of fellows had actually achieved a bit.

I stated that because I don't believe fan fiction or non-profit short films constitutes an achievement and was discussing creative achievements at the time. I am currently working two jobs.

But this Den of Inadequacy blog as a sort of naive charm about it. He admits to only having an audience of three (which is sort of like sitting in an empty room talking to yourself for 55 sessions a year while two others occasionally drop in to listen) and wants to get on an achieve more but wastes time waging in to arguments that don't concern him as he's been 'waiting for a misinformed ass to try and start something'. Were we all this silly at circa 20? Anyway I digress...

For a change, Mallett decides to quote me out of context. The '55 blog posts a year' was referring to Ewen's blog over 2011. My number, you can see by looking to your right, is a considerably less impressive six, or one every two months on average. The quoted sentence comes from a passage where I am discussing how I have effectively abandoned my blog entirely, and THE BLOG is sitting, waiting for a misinformed ass to start something. This was in part an allusion back to the past when Lawrence Miles and Alan Stevens have been considerably more esteemed and gentlemanly visitors, but mostly referring to the fact I have had no real reason or drive to post here for some time.

Actually most writers start writing in their spare time.

Okay, just to stop being media watch for a second...

What follows from this point is quite curious, and it stems from an alleged quote of mine...

From my POV I think: 'It takes me no time at all to do what I do on the net, unlke you guys, who take a month of leave from your work everytime you write a blog post.

Which, incidentally, I never said. Yes, he is now MISquoting me. The phrase "From my POV" does not appear in my post at all, and completely changes the meaning of the following remark placed in inverted commas. Like most writers, I use inverted commas to attribute a remark to someone else, rather than to express something from my own point of view.

This is an interesting adaptation of a strawman argument, to attribute a view I was mocking to me to make it easier to counter than any real argument, unless this was not deliberate and another case of mis-reading the original post.

It would be helpful for any and all academics to be aware that when you append a quotation with your own writing it is meant to be stated [within parantheses].

My main blog response at the beginning of this whole affair was written in a couple of hours but it probably represented several hours of thought and a few scribbled notes over two days. I put time aside one morning specifically to do it. The others have been done in less than 15 minutes. This is the most time I've spent on one since I started (partly as I have to type his writing out because I can't figure out how to cut and paste it from a screen shot or the website without getting all sorts of formatting errors).

Okay, another break... sorry, Jonathan, but I can't follow your example and I need to say this is horribly depressing. Effectively Ed Wood is lecturing me on how filmwork is done.

However Jared assumes here that the process of writing is just 'typing some text in a window', which doesn't bode well for his aspirations to write well in the future. Writing goes on 24 hours a day in your head if not your fingers.

Speaking specifically of writing a blog, which is. I am incidentally writing 24 hours a day, 'in my head' but don't classify that as 'work'.

But that bit was vital. You're assuming that if something is hard to follow its just boring and not important.

To go back here, Mr Mallett wrote.... a number I can't specify because he has taken down HIS original offensive blog post... but I remember 3-4 paragraphs in an attempt to exonerate his friend 'Peter Q', a man myself, Ewen, Cameron, Miles and anyone else concerned do not know and do not really care about. 'Peter Q' could be anyone, and it is not directly relevant to us.

So, an insult that nobody was insulted by was delivered by somebody going by the name of 'Peter Q' who was allegedly NOT somebody ELSE who goes by the name 'Peter Q', both of whom we have had no prior engagement with nor knowledge of and are unlikely to do so in the future. 'Important' is a relative term so I suppose I must concede that this incredibly boring stuff about clearing the assumed name of a friend of his is of importance to Mr Mallett.

To be fair he does also allege that XXXX accused him of posting under the name 'Peter Q' himself. To judge the grounds of this allegation, look through this corrections and gauge the depth of his ability to critically read communication.

Again you're assuming that I have the time and resources to search the entire net in order to make the connection. I had a couple of hours at most. I think that if its so important to be recognised for who he is, then at least all his Who writing should be done under the one name or handle

Most, if not all of his creative work can be found under the several blogs he has in his one Blogspot account. Also, possibly slightly ironic statement given that this saga began with an offhand comment that one of Mr Mallett's friends described him as having vanished off the web, when in actual fact it was due to the fact he was working under another name.

I suspect there was is 'reason' for making the connection between his public name and his blogging name murky, so that he can indulge in some negativity and not tarnish the former.

I can say with quite a lot of confidence that there isn't.

Again you're assuming that was my motivation. My motivation was to respond and put the record straight to the unprovoked level of bile directed at me personally... It is not a nice thing to do, particularly when you don't have all the facts and his own motivation was clearly driven by an intolerance for anyone who dislikes the new series.

Do you have a statement given by 'XXXX' saying that he was motivated by an intolerance for everyone who dislikes the new series? Or are you making an assumption?

Again that's a direct personal attack, libellous, partially illiterate and assumes that if you can't see the significance in something, then there is none

Nope. It's just Chuck Testa. I said that what you wrote was the manner of a tale one could expect to hear from an idiot. That does not necessarily signify that the author is an idiot, just that he has represented himself as one, whether willingly or not, via his poor choice of words.

There a generational gap in jargon here. ATAOM?

A Teaspoon and an Open Mind

Now in Jared's world, I actually have a Doctorate after all?! I'm he one who's confused.

Yes. I noticed.

...I've given up on the Jonathan Holmes thing, I guess.

I thought he said I hadn't done my research.

I said 'some time'. Some = any quantity greater than zero, but lesser than or equal to lots. Both statements can be literally true.

Oh, no! Watch out for the 'Insane Clown Posse'. His mentor must be very proud. If only he had his mentor's wit and style!

I am actually not a fan of Insane Clown Posse, as I even said in the comments section. The link was simply appropriate given the context I had explained with the comparison in the early paragraphs that he did not, it is clear, understand. For the sake of completeness my favourite musical acts are Ben Folds, The Killers and Icehouse, and I consider none of them to be 'mentors'.

Clearly I wouldn't make a good host of Media Watch, but I hope I've gotten the point across. One of my biggest peeves is people who make lengthy responses having apparently misunderstood gigantic swathes of the original, and this was a textbook example.

You can call me a waster, an idiot, a simpleton with no critical thinking, a socially-stunted child, a terrible writer, Australia's Assumptions-Laureate - you can even call me a high school dropout and I promise I won't sue you. But don't misquote me.

Because when you misquote me... it is mildly irritating. Which sets this above what's happened so far.

EDIT: Oh, I missed my favourite part of the post, where he concedes that he actually has been advised he has no grounds for a libel charge. Guess the only way he'll be making a HECS debt look like a lunch tab is if he uses a wand and a top hat.


Kyron Mallett said...


I could challenge most of this latest rant but I do want to stress that the original post that incited Ewen on his latest series of rants about me was by a person using the name PeterQ and it was on this blog listing: http://davidrestal.blogspot.com.au/2010/07/doctor-who-jasper-street-blues.html

It appears to have been deleted. It was several days before I got a handle on what had been going on and actually responded with my own blog.

You might also want to be aware that I've made a complaint to your employer. As you are a 'public servant' of a kind and work for a local council, you're expected to be a big boy and behave nicely in polite society.

If I were you I would act now and remove all this before your General Manager investigates.

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

I could challenge most of this latest rant

You use that word a lot. But I do not think you know what it means. My response was structured and free of either violence or undue extravagance.

I do want to stress that the original post that incited Ewen on his latest series of rants about me was by a person using the name PeterQ and it was on this blog listing:

Much as I said. And I do not care at all who they are.

As you are a 'public servant' of a kind and work for a local council, you're expected to be a big boy and behave nicely in polite society.

Sad that such rules do not apparently apply to our nation's academics. Unless they do and that is why you rewrote the comment to remove your name and the link back to your own blog from it?

If I were you I would act now and remove all this before your General Manager investigates.

Or maybe I am actually aware that the internet is cached so deleting posts from a blog will do absolutely nothing if somebody is determined to find it?

If it should come to that, I will take responsibility and explain the circumstances. I do not consider running away and pretending I didn't do it to be 'big boy' reactions to adverse circumstances.

Anonymous said...

No Jared, I tried posting under my blogger account and it didn't work. I tried twice.

I made sure I put my name to it however.

People know where to look to get my side of the story.

I've only got a few more pages to snapshot around the traps and I'm gone for good.

Good luck explaining yourself.

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

If you're trying to make me back down, apologise, delete my posts or all of the above you'd be better off waiting for the Second Coming.

This is staying up, and your melodramatic reactions illustrate nicely how completely you have lost the argument.

And congratulations on discovering how to take screenshots.

Youth of Australia said...

I haven't fully read the whole thing, but seeing Private Dexter made my whole day better.

It really did.

Bless you.

Youth of Australia said...

BTW, we really should finish Attack of the Cybermen. It bugs me something so good should be unfinished. And, you know, we need to focus our mental energies on things that matter - and, let's be honest, completing a rewrite fanfic six years in the making on a story that was already twenty years old at the time is WAY more important than anything involving Hastur the Unspeakable over there.

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

Funny you should mention that, I was planning a complete re-write of what I had of Episode 3 a few days ago. I'll get on it soon...

Youth of Australia said...


...did we ever finish part two? The last thing I remember was a Cyberman ripping one of the policemen's heads off, Steve Foxx-style.

Which, admittedly, is a bloody memorable moment at the best of times.

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

I got a bit confused there, I was thinking of part two mostly...

A big snag I hit was I had written the very end shortly after starting because I like to do that to ensure a strong finish. BUT... I then realised I was abandoning logic a bit to get characters to that ending. So the ending needs to change a bit, too, and I'll be cutting some material out of parts 3 and 4. I think I can make it work, though..

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

Oh, sorry, to actually answer your question no we never did finish Episode 2.

Youth of Australia said...

I think I can make it work, though..
Course you can.

Check out my blog for some motivational images.

Miles Reid said...

Does this mean I have to finish 'Legacy of the Borad?'

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

If you want to have dessert...

Youth of Australia said...

Did you even start it?

I honestly can't remember - though I do remember going to all the trouble to post you a copy of the novelization...

Miles Reid said...

I did about ten pages. If I'm correct, the description started with...

'Karfel was beautiful. Once.'

And the Doctor and Peri arguing over a map.

Youth of Australia said...

'Karfel was beautiful. Once.'

Wow. I mean... that is textbook evocative, that is. I think the genuine Timelash would have been 500% better with that in it.

And the Doctor and Peri arguing over a map.
As long as it was funny, fair enough...

Miles Reid said...

You know, I'm still amazed at the incredibly patronising tone Mallett seems to have everytime he refers to Jared. I mean... WOW, I'm 30 in a year's time and I really hope I'm never that patronising or dismissive of anybody a good decade younger than me without good reason.

I mean, I'd be more willing not to think he was such a twit if half of what he's written did not automatically translate to 'WAHHHHH, YOU'RE YOUNG, SO CLEARLY YOU HAVE NO CLUE OR OPINION ABOUT ANYTHING AT ALL. EVER!' like the stereotypical 'boring old square' to use my Stepfather's vernacular, Daddy-O.

In that regard, Mallett really fits into the screaming maelstrom of hate that is Science-Fiction Fan on the Internet.

A lesson to be learned. A lesson to be shared. Here in the Inadequacy Zone.

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

Incidentally, something that slipped me by but has occurred to me after the fact - he NEVER contacted me and made the 'reasonable request' he keeps going on about for me to take down the post. I received no email and his sole comment on the post itself was a threat to sue me.

WOW, I'm 30 in a year's time and I really hope I'm never that patronising or dismissive of anybody a good decade younger than me without good reason.

To be fair, even if you do become a complete git when you're old, it would need a real, concerted ongoing effort to match him.

If I hadn't mentioned my age, this could have gone an entirely different direction. Isn't prejudice a wonderful thing?

Youth of Australia said...

You got that right.

*dons KKK outfit*

I'm off to Ipswich.

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

What do you know, a couple of more things Mallett was wrong about...

I could challenge most of this latest rant

In actual fact all he could do was close down his blog full of hate abruptly.

Which ties into:

People know where to look to get my side of the story.

And his claim that the page would only come down if we agreed to his 'reasonable demands'. It's down now, and I didn't agree to shit.

Youth of Australia said...

Shit, of course, being precisely what we were being asked to agree with...

Anonymous said...

For more details on Kyron Mallet, please visit:


Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

The meaning he gathered from all this was that it was proof he and his crew 'take crap from no one'.

You have a serious problem with attributing quotes to people who never said them. May I suggest you use inverted commas more carefully?

Youth of Australia said...

It's clearly the folly of youth.

Proper grown ups like Ronny "roll over and take it like a bitch" rather than standing up for themselves.

Sheer bloodyminded stubbornness saved my mother's life. It saved my life. It saved Johnny 5's life.

The only reason I even considered acquiescence was to spare you lot from this tedious troll. But then he couldn't even do that, and tried to sue the Hashish Addict.

He's attacked me, my life, my friends and my family.

And he can join the fucking cue waiting for the crack of doom before I submit to ANYTHING!!!

*cue Dudley Simpson music*