Friday, September 17, 2010

I,m writing this on a an iPad

Oh wyes, how uncharacteristic of the new head of the Holy Order of Armed Luddite bastards to do, but apparently in my work I Need to stay up to date wih the evolutionary cull-de-sacs of technology . So here begins then this particularly typo-ridden entry tint the annals of my bolo rem .... Eeeerm blog.. Please stop predictive texting me Mr Jobs. Just stop.

So, when I am no longer being a pretentious wanker with remarkably non-useful technology when I'm meant to be working what can we looek forward to? well not altogether that much , brut her,s a sneak peek

! Jared turns himself into a cripple emotionally AND phsyically playing laser tag!

! Jad watches some old Doctor Who DVDs and bitches about Malcolm Hulke"s grasp of drama. Jared also does something similar.

! Jared finds himself to be cast in the role of Tim from THe Office by God!

! Tim From The Office finds himself cast in the part of Jared by a BETTER GOD in the New Sherlock Holmes!

! I fess up about having watched the Robert Downey Junior New Sherlock Holmes ... And qute liking it!

! I sit on my are and watch stile more TV!

......... Jared writes quite a long and effortlessly witty post, then proceeds to lose it all due to the fact that the iPad has a massively ineffectual touchscreen that believes that when I say "Pubslish post" I smear for it to DELETE EVERYTHING, Steve EJobs.... Yosu are without a doubt the weakest, most spineless dog ever to attach 1s and 0s together in semi meaningful clumsps. YOUD Mke me ME SICK!!!! DON,T EVER DESIGN A LAPTOP AGAIN!!!!! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAaH!!!!! DOUBLE THE FIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

... Oh, wait a minute, its still here.. This thing that just can't frigging scroll. Ah well... Back to our scheduled programming...

! I fuck up an annoying running gag by ceasing to refer to myself in the third person!

! I recount wanting to starting to write a suicidal blog entry about Internet dating literally minutes before it started to work!

! Jared conspires to cock-block his indefatigable Dutch housemate!

! Jared conspires to commit copyright infringement!

! Jared is wrongfully arrested and then ritually acquitted of child pornography charges. Wheile NAKED!

! Jared almost seems to subconsciously wish to be fired since he's typing this.... On. A work computer no loess!

! Jared stars in the most tepid film of this summer. Maybe!

! Jared fails to overcome writer,s block!

! Jared contemplates going into Young Adult writing because they'll clearly buy any old rubbish!

! Jared gets a haircut!

! Jared goes "ZOMG SGU COMING BSCK!"

! Jared notices that there has actually been a critically Fellated new series of Doctor Who and passes some form of unnecessary commentary riddled with needlessly lowbrow humor and homophobic slurs against Messrs All&


Youth of Australia said...


That's nice.

I think.

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

Aha, just as baffling as I had hoped!!

..oh and the movie thing didn't end up happening. Sorry about that.

Youth of Australia said...

No hassle. Saw Tomorrow with my parents. Not a bad flick.

Anonymous said...

Cheap and trendy deisgner clothing from where we sell: Sergio Rossi, Cali Dreaming, Twelfth St. by Cynthia Vincent, Soixante Neuf, Faith Connexion, Betsey Johnson, Goldie, Sir Alistair Rai, Vix Swimwear, Xscape, Matisse Footwear, Hero Crane,, Hats, Cynthia Dugan Jewelry, Jacques Helleu & Chanel Book, LD Tuttle, Siwy, Nipple Pasties, JS Boutique, Cargos, LBD Laundry By Design, Theia, HHN by Haute Hippie, Wink, Mighty Fine T- Shirts, Bliss Lau, Jeans, Product Care, Lingerie, Earrings, Alexia Designs, Burning Torch, Jasz Couture, Joseph, McQ - Alexander McQueen, Jill Stuart, Ports 1961, Alice + Olivia, Vitamin A Silver/Laguna Blue, Chaudry, Textile Junkie, tuleste market, Jenni Kayne, Melinda Maria Jewelry, Homecoming Dresses, Deepa Gurnani, Bing Bang, Level 99, Myne, Reuben Reuel, Bliss Lau, L.A.M.B, C. Viviani, Thread Social, Daughters of the Revolution, Jumpsuits, Frank & Eileen, Faviana - all available from our online designer clothing store at 50% off sale! Check out - harvard university arts and fashion.
We admire work of Harvard University Arts and Fashion - best school of arts where great designers learn
how to create great looking designer clothing!