Oh wyes, how uncharacteristic of the new head of the Holy Order of Armed Luddite bastards to do, but apparently in my work I Need to stay up to date wih the evolutionary cull-de-sacs of technology . So here begins then this particularly typo-ridden entry tint the annals of my bolo rem .... Eeeerm blog.. Please stop predictive texting me Mr Jobs. Just stop.
So, when I am no longer being a pretentious wanker with remarkably non-useful technology when I'm meant to be working what can we looek forward to? well not altogether that much , brut her,s a sneak peek
! Jared turns himself into a cripple emotionally AND phsyically playing laser tag!
! Jad watches some old Doctor Who DVDs and bitches about Malcolm Hulke"s grasp of drama. Jared also does something similar.
! Jared finds himself to be cast in the role of Tim from THe Office by God!
! Tim From The Office finds himself cast in the part of Jared by a BETTER GOD in the New Sherlock Holmes!
! I fess up about having watched the Robert Downey Junior New Sherlock Holmes ... And qute liking it!
! I sit on my are and watch stile more TV!
......... Jared writes quite a long and effortlessly witty post, then proceeds to lose it all due to the fact that the iPad has a massively ineffectual touchscreen that believes that when I say "Pubslish post" I smear for it to DELETE EVERYTHING, Steve EJobs.... Yosu are without a doubt the weakest, most spineless dog ever to attach 1s and 0s together in semi meaningful clumsps. YOUD Mke me ME SICK!!!! DON,T EVER DESIGN A LAPTOP AGAIN!!!!! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAaH!!!!! DOUBLE THE FIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
... Oh, wait a minute, its still here.. This thing that just can't frigging scroll. Ah well... Back to our scheduled programming...
! I fuck up an annoying running gag by ceasing to refer to myself in the third person!
! I recount wanting to starting to write a suicidal blog entry about Internet dating literally minutes before it started to work!
! Jared conspires to cock-block his indefatigable Dutch housemate!
! Jared conspires to commit copyright infringement!
! Jared is wrongfully arrested and then ritually acquitted of child pornography charges. Wheile NAKED!
! Jared almost seems to subconsciously wish to be fired since he's typing this.... On. A work computer no loess!
! Jared stars in the most tepid film of this summer. Maybe!
! Jared fails to overcome writer,s block!
! Jared contemplates going into Young Adult writing because they'll clearly buy any old rubbish!
! Jared gets a haircut!
! Jared goes "ZOMG SGU COMING BSCK!"
! Jared notices that there has actually been a critically Fellated new series of Doctor Who and passes some form of unnecessary commentary riddled with needlessly lowbrow humor and homophobic slurs against Messrs All&