Monday, July 13, 2009

Test Card Post

Phrases like The explosion was aggravated because the blockage in question comprised numerous gas-filled condoms. Please don't ask me to explain. are why I am currently moderately addicted to the webpage, a site which attempts to catalogue all commonly used tropes throughout pretty much every popular media, giving them pithy names and loads of examples into the bargain. One of the many factors in why I haven't posted anything, along with small issues like not being sure that I have anything meaningful to actually say.

Among the mish-mash:

* The award for the most disappointing newstory in the world goes to Emma Watson. Naturally as one who had been keeping half an eye on the countdown timer to when she was of legal age (incidentally, there was a couple of things morally wrong about her scenes in the dress in Goblet of Fire by our society - which just goes to show why society sucks) I had to have more detail when I read about her 'wardrobe malfunction' on Letterman. Sadly the gap-toothed one did not tear off her ill-chosen one-piece dress with no underwear and chase her around the set while Paul Schaffer played Yakkity-Sax instead...

brace yourselves...

...her knickers were visible. Good lord, is this the sort of thing which makes a controversy now? Have you people never SEEN the Pertwee era?

* The most disturbing things you can find online are doubtless Zimbabwean blogs*. Perhaps that's why Google doesn't really look through them and it was only through the use of various alternate websites I was even able to find them, and then indavertently.

This is because as bad as Robert Mugabe is, Mugabe supporters are even worse. They are crazy, crazy people. As somebody who sees through propaganda and advertising easily, I am always alarmed to see people who swallow it hook, line, and sinker and these people are the prime example. Tsvangerai is going to hand the country to the highest bidder, apparently, whether they be Dutch, American or French. He is evil and needs to be stopped. Etcetera etcetera etcetera. If I believed in God the sites would make me thank him that I was never born in Africa...

(*This is entirely incorrect. You can find the list of websites the Australian government intends to plan, child pornography, any number of other pornographies which will offend you, and episodes of Fringe. I use hyperbole twelve million times per second.)

* Finally have a copy of Watchmen. Damn that's a good film.

* As of this morning, contemplated the question on everyone's mind: Warwick Davis or Nabil Shaban for king of the Little People? (Apologies to David Rappaport, Verne Troyer, Jimmy Vee, Big Mick, that guy from Carnivale whose name I can never remember, Kenny Baker and Danny Woodburn) Warwick probably wins, as usual.

Also, does Danny DeVito count, or is he slightly too tall? And where are the little women? They had a book written about them for Christ's sake...

* Oh, I have a new DVD drive. So if there happens to be anyone out there I promised a disc to a month or so ago I can get right on it. Ahem.


I know you don't care. But... THERE'S A NEW MONKEY ISLAND GAME! And it's written by one of the guys who made the really shit one from a couple of years ago. The hope is helping to slice through my +10 cynicism...

* Oh, yeah. My Grandma's getting married. For the third time. (Oh, it's okay, the other ones just died) To a ninety year old man with dementia. So while it's unlucky for the bride to see the groom before the ceremony it's probably equally unlucky for the groom not to see the bride. I'm hoping someone will be around the guy with a photograph saying "This is the woman you're about to marry - remember her?"

Very sadly I won't be able to attend the ceremony in Coff's Harbour, as the house needs sitting. (Yes, yes yes! AHAHAHAAHA! Kiss my arse, social hell!)

* I worked at a library for four weeks as part of my course. If I learnt one thing in that time... librarians like cake.

1 comment:

Youth of Australia said...

Very amusing. Can't think of much to say as it's taken me two hours to load this page and I've more or less forgotten what you were actually on about. The cricket stuff was amusing but all I remember of this was some stuff about cake, Robert Mugabe and your unnecessary fears of not being witty, entertaining and thrilling reading. For god's sake man, look at the dross on the net and honestly ask yourself if you aren't better! A clue: yes.

BTW, my computer exploded on Wednesday. Takes all sorts.