Thursday, July 2, 2009

OH MY GOD!

The woman who played Mrs Slocombe died. Er, er... hurry!


Has anyone checked up on her pussy?

*DING*

Her.. pussy will be sorely missed..

*BE-BEOW*

Oh crap, that was a single entendre. Erm... is pussy rotting and gangrenous or are they going to emblam her.. I mean, it.. no, or do I mean her? What gender is the pussy? Anyone?

*BE-BEOW*

Goddamnit! Errr... Mr Humphreys is a queer!

*BE-BEOW*

Okay... will the pussy be there at the.. erm, open casket thing?

(Pause)

*DING*

Phew, just made it with that one. Hmm... most of the time she died of a long illness it was the fault of the American Airforce?

*BE-BEOW*

Screw you Wikipedia! That punchline doesn't work out of context!

*BE-BEOW*

Hey, that wasn't a joke attempt. Okay... let's hope her pussy is still alright?

*DING*

Yeah! I'm on fire! Just like her pussy... if you rubbed deep-heat onto it..

*BE-BEOW*

Argh! How did they do one of these EVERY episode? Will.. her pussy... still find it's way home? Like the tongue in the beer ad. Or maybe not. Because we're ostensibly talking about a cat.

*BE-BEOW*

Okay, Jared, your time's up.

Uh-huh, and how'd I do?

Terribly!

Yeah...

Unbelievably bad. Only three semi-workable double-entendres in one eulogy for Mrs Slocombe. So you miss out on the speedboat.

That's what I figured...

And on the other two-dozen prizes

But there's some kind of consolation prize, surely?

Not really. Except that it'd be great if you gave an actor from Studio 5 a ride to the hospital.

Studio 5? They're doing A Midsummer Night's Dream, aren't they?

Yeah.

What's wrong with him?

We're not sure, he keeps blacking out. Lots of people have heard that he's been scoring heroin, though, so it's best to be on the safe side.

So... let me get this straight. Because I've been bad, I get a smacked Bottom?

Listen, punk, anyone can do it with a setup like that. Now get the hell out of here.

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