Christ I've been busy. Well, not busy at all by most human standards, but then by the standards of one Adwam Kazourkis [as I codenamed him at high-school] who has apparently been kicked out of his room by his parents into a tent in the backyard because he refuses to do any housework I should be dead with a heart attack.
Okay - two young puppies who require supervision when I'm home. Mondays - TAFE all day. Wednesdays - TAFE all day and half the night. Thursdays - working in a library. All day. Friday - TAFE all day. I feel like I've barely got time to type this because I've got about a dozen assignments to print off for tomorrow, at least one to finish and then two to start for next week. And over the weekend I'm going to have to spend a heap of time with the pups. And possibly fixing the chookhouse.
The more I think about it, my ideal lifestyle is living in a completely spartan solitary confinement cell with a nice warm bed, a discman for my DW audios and pen and paper that I can scribble on for a few hours, before telling the guards to forward it to either my blog or a publisher.
I mean, last week I went to a friend's 21st. And THAT was a chore. Not the 21st itself. Nah, that bit's fine - the getting pissed and shouting stupid stuff bit. But the next morning... it's complete rubbish. I should have just walked home. (2 hours? That would have been fine)
WHY is every day after the party the same? Everyone says that they'll be gone by 10 or 11. THAT morning, after they're up. They're sick, but they'll still make it out. They're getting a lift after all. Yet, for some reason, they're unable to remove their arse [figure a] from the seat [figure b]. It took about 2 hours for my mate to get his own room back, and then when we were in there there was about 12 people trying to fit on a couch and all we got to do was watch I am Legend over the space of about 4 fucking hours because there was an interruption every two seconds. One of these involved a fire.
Come 4.30, when I was basically told to piss off by a friend who was meant to be having a good time but was instead getting his patience comprehensively demolished by people being oddly hostile with no provocation, and I was the fourth person to decide to leave. Okay, I decided to leave because I was told to piss off but whatever. Because he'd mention his wares I asked about getting some files off his computer onto my portable harddrive. His response? "I don't have time for that"
My internal censor decided to cut down my response of "Don't have the TIME? You think I have the fucking time to wait for people I don't even know to finish puking their guts up? You think this is my hobby? Standing in the corner of rooms awkwardly while you talk with your parents and other people? You think I actually LIKE Will Smith? Why the FUCK didn't you put on Sweeney Todd? Oh, sorry, I mean putting a cable into a slot on your computer and pressing CTRL+C a few times will take about a hundredth of the time you demanded to take photos on the top of Westfield yesterday, and maybe a thousandth of the time spent staring into empty space in Woolworths! Nice going, jerk. Maybe next time you can find invite the not-quite-legal girls who will demand on awkwardly flirting with me all night and ACTUALLY show me their tits at the end! I might just have an adulterous affair with your girlfriend now, arsehole." I don't even know if I said anything, in fact. (Btw, that's essentially 95% joking)
In short, the entire thing reminded me of why exactly I live as a social hermit whenever I am able and also left me in a debt of time to actually spend on TAFE work and, by extension, this blog, on which I have spent very little time for a while. This, in turn, has left me quite frustrated and bitter over a few things and waiting, seemingly in vain, for things to get a bit better.
Then I remembered... IT'S DOUBLE THE FUCKING FIST TOMORROW NIGHT!!!
Apologies because the title could make you think that I somehow unlocked the greatest secret of the Universe and actually got my TV to show me the wonders of ABC2, but it's actually a case of me forgetting entirely about this golden TV show and only just remembering. I am in the dark as to what will occur at quarter past eleven tomorrow night... save that it will be AWESOME.
It is also worth noting that even the Guide itself decided to completely ignore the ABC2 debut, instead reviewing tomorrow night's 'repeat' as the shows 'debut'. For this, they have shown extreme Fistworthyness.
Unlike the spineless dogs behind today's Letter of the Weak..
All of you should have received an email already from "Hot Potato." Please, please read it and do what it says! It's not trickery or junk mail, it's legit stuff.
If you can't find the e-mail, check your "Junk" box - it may have been filtered and marked as spam.
I also forgot to mention that it would be even GREATER if you could upload a pic for your profile when you sign up, and if possible also use the website/write some articles/comment on something? The more you look like "real people using the website," the more my chances of winning are.
Alright Kasekar, or should I say "Rod", YOU should have received an email today saying that I fully endorse the idea and have also invited some friends from FaceBook. If you happen to be living in a fantasyland because THAT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! Pyramid schemes are the tools of the Nigerian royal family, officially ranked by the United Nations as the WEAKEST human beings on the planet, on average unable to thumb wrestle the smallest breed of guinea pig - AND THAT'S BLOODY SMALL!
I have, however, uploaded a pic. That pic is of your house with a little bit of my own, personal redecoration.
DON'T YOU EVER DARKEN THE PAGES OF THIS BLOG AGAIN! YOU MAKE MAKE ME SICK! GAAAAHR!
In all seriousness, DTF is such a balm for my soul that I'm hoping it will magically make everything cool again. I'm also hoping that it has a similar effect on a certain spoof-writer of my acquaintance whom I have detected to be in a similar state of disillusionment. Full fist, ABC. Double full fist.