Round 1 - FIGHT!
Audience Identification Character
PC Gwen Cooper
DCI Nathan Spring
Let's see... they're both police officers so aren't immediately relatable to the audience. Gwen is an essentially happy-go-lucky woman in, erm, early 30s (?) who looks hot. That instantly gives her a lead on Nathan, who's forty-something (I'm think late-ish forties) who, frankly, isn't much to look at.
We then have the problem, though, that Gwen talks likea teenager and at no stage shows any form of expertise she would have learnt from the police. She is eventually revealed to be more than a little crazy. At the same time, however, Nathan is a workaholic cold-blooded crime-solving machine who spends half his time talking to a pocket calculator with his own voice and personality. It's a stalemate, so Gwen wins out on purely superficial reasons.
Torchwood 1, Star Cops 0
Captain Jack Harkness
Dr Alexander Krivenko
In Doctor Who, Captain Jack is an effortlessly charimsatic and instantly loveable guy, in spite of his many vices and questionable moral code. It seems only sensible for him to get his own spin-off. But at the same time it also seems sensible to actually write him in much the same way. Of all the criminal undertakings in Torchwood S1 (only seen three eps of S2) the characterisation of Captain Jack would have to be top of the list. Basically, he's a grumpy, angry old bastard who can't wait to shoot anything at all, and loses a fair degree of audience empathy due to his inability to die, on top of the fact that he's a complete prick.
Krivenko, on the other hand is the ideal boss - he's sympathetic, smart, understanding... and knows when he shouldn't get involved and when he isn't wanted. He actually seems a bit too good to be true, which is why he's a) Not actually experienced in any form of police work, so can't help the team much, and b) Is a Russian, which means nobody's sure whether they can trust him. A well devised and written character all round.
It almost depends on your tase when it comes to a boss character as to what's good, as it changes the dynamic of the show entirely. I say Krivenko wins, though, because I like him, and because Jack is also supposedly the hero, a role he fails in more often than not.
Torchwood 1, Star Cops 1
Token Asian Chick
Dr Toshiko Sato
Dr Anna Shoun
...Jesus Christ. Say, if you were to take the sordid, abandoned love-child of Bonnie Langford and Rick James into a household of Star Trek fans for them to raise and then bought them a ventriloquist dummy for their twelfth birthday, the result could only be, at most, a fifth as irritating as Anna Shoun. I have only seen her for 3 minutes tops. I wanted to smash my monitor after 1. A toxic combination of bad writing and worse acting that will haunt me in my nightmares.
Torchwood 3, Star Cops -1
Dr Owen Taylor/Ianto Jones
DI Colin Devis
Hmm. Quite curious that both series rely on an ugly, bigoted, foul-mouthed bastard, at least paritially, for their comic relief. Ianto I guess also counts but... well, he isn't much of an actual character is he? Shaping up to be better in this new season, but it's diffuclt to actually think of him as a human being.
Anyway, Owen has fallen obsessively in love to the point that he will contemplate murder and attempt suicide, has date-raped people (it is implied he has more than once) has exploited his coworkers and generally behaved like a complete arsehole. Colin Devis doesn't do much about wisecracks and pissing off the other characters with his uncouth behaviour, but is generally likeable for being a complete loser and not being bothered by the fact. Owen has only just reached this point of his characterisation, previously being bafflingly cast in the role of office casanova despite having a mouth that looks like a cemetary. I think I'll have to go with Devis, because he's better characterised than Owen. Something not terribly impressive anyway...
Torchwood 3, Star Cops 0
7-9 Million Pounds
A chip butty
Hmmm. What's the meat on that butty?
Torchwood 4, Star Cops 0
John Barrowman, Eve Myles, Burn Gorman, Naoko Mori, Gareth David-Lloyd
David Calder, Erick Ray Evans, Trevor Cooper, Linda Newton, Jonathan Adams, Sayo Inaba
Well, I have to say both casts are largely professional and well-chosen... setting aside the quibbling facts that Nathan was a young-gun and Owen a heart-throb at script level. Sadly, Star Cops must bear the brunt of Anna Shoun once again, as she makes Burn Gorman look like Laurence Olivier.
Torchwood 5, Star Cops 0
My, not looking good for the International Space Police Force, is it?
Hey, they're both well-known for writing in cop shows and have the same first name! I had not noticed that before!
*Ahem* Anyway, despite the fact that pretty every Star Cops story I've seen has irritatingly ended the same way (Nathan confronting some dude who explains his entire plan in a lengthy manner [even if all details have been made clear to the audience] often at the same time as making inept attempts on his life) the fact still remains that Boucher is terribly good at characterisation. You may not like his characters, but by God he knows what they do. He also does bitchy one-liners like no other man.
Chibnall can write quite well, clearly. But Cyberwoman, Countrycide and Day One are all worrisome black marks against his name.
Also, I haven't noticed Boucher ripping Angel off.
Torchwood 5, Star Cops 2
...what, I REALLY like Chris Boucher, okay?
Murray Gold editing a Fatboy Slim album
That dude from The Moody Blues with a Moog synthesiser
... alright, Torchwood. You win this round...