Okay, this letter can be summed up in the two following phrases, "You are not funny" and "Please fuck right off" However, being a longwinded fellow I'll go into it a little further.
Congratulations are clearly in order Chris Lilley. As one of the great mass of people with absolutely no skills in any fields who dream so, you have achieved your dream of making money from precisely zero effort. I can't begrudge you that. However, I want you to place a complete media-gag on yourself in all ways possible from now. I don't want to see any interviews with you, any photos of you anywhere, and sure as fuck none of those ads for your terrible, terrible show.
What's that? How do you keep your profile high? You won't need to. The warped and twisted people who find you dressing up as women and abusing disabled people know who you are. It won't matter if the ABC stores never put you up on the shelves. The raincoat-wearing weirdoes who want to buy your gear can just sidle up to the counter and murmur "I'm looking for some CL" with a wink, while the guy behind the counter slides across the DVD inside a brown paper bag. You know, the same way they sell Kath & Kim.
If you think you're going to reach a bigger crowd, Lilley, forget it. Well, no, I won't say that because if I set that in stone you'll become bigger than Thank God You're Here, in which case I'll have to find some way of leaving this country forever. But I wager you won't. Because, face it, you've got nothing. K&K, as utterly execrable as they are in every way, are at least lampooning something. Well, trying to. Whilst just being enjoyed as frothy entertainment by the very same losers they take the piss out of, their heart's in the right place. Well it was. Once upon a time...
Never mind that, the point is, Lilley-liver, you really don't have any ideas behind your work. Yes, I know how it happened - you watched The Office and realised that awkward, stop-pause low-budget mockumentary comedy was coming in in a big way. You then figured, somehow, that removing everything vaguely clever about The Office and replacing it with yourself in drag and making fun of minorities, would make it hilarious. At some point you pulled the number 'six' out of your arse and decided to have that number of characters, and then that you would play them all yourself, in spite of having a hugely distinctive face with a bent nose and "punch my head in please" written all over it. In spite of this, nearly every critic's review of We Can Be Heroes agreed that only ONE of those six characters was actually funny - and here's a hint, it wasn't you squinting your eyes covered in fake tan pretending to be an Asian genius.
So now the inevitable has happened and you've got another season. And you're being interviewed in The Guide and, lo and behold, it unveils you as an even bigger tool than I thought possible! You talk about 'spending ages on the script'? Holy shit, I wouldn't admit to that in your shoes. Look at the line-up of your new show - it's you as three characters, of course... a) Ja'amie, the one character anyone liked from your last series, b) A stereotypical ethnic kid and c) Mr G, the gay Drama teacher. Wow. You must have spent hours working on breaking that fresh ground. What's more you then admit that Mr G is a character YOU'VE PLAYED FOR YEARS! So the one new innovation is you in a curly-wig and more fake tan pretending to breakdance. Lord, give me strength.
This is why I'm appealing to you, Chris, for my sake but also for yours. The more publicity gets out, the more people will realise what a complete and utter tool you are, and also that you don't look anything at all like a teenaged schoolgirl/asian scientist/Tongan breakdancer/middle aged housewife/ anyone who isn't a time-wasting prick whose face you impulsively want to bash in.
Now, where the fuck is the next season of DOUBLE THE FIST?