One of the things Australian TV doesn't have enough of is unconvincing and fake facial hair. Tune into the ABC at 7:30 tonight for an attempt to rectify this, with a doco on the construction of Australia's first telegraph line, apparently performed entirely by men with pieces of coloured wool glued to their faces.
Also, massive shout out to the people who've already posted reviews for Smith and Jones the premier DW ep of the new season. It looks to be a real corker, and is THE FIRST TO FEATURE A BLACK COMPANION if you ignore the black companion from the last two seasons. And I believe also Kathiadu Lethbridge-Stewart and Roz Forrester from the Virgin novels. And arguably Frobisher (he was more black than white at any rate...)
Oh, and I just lied. I said it looks like a 'real corker', but the truth is all I know about it is that it has Rhinos in Sontaran suits. True, that fills all my criteria for an awesome episode, but who knows it could be messed up. Maybe there's just one Rhino and the Doctor ends up taking it to a restaurant and the rhino makes a heap of lame accusations about the Doctor being a mass-murdering war criminal even though those claims have no basis and he's known him for all of twenty minutes and then stuff blows up for no reason and the rhino gets sucked into the TARDIS and the story ends. That would suck.
However, S&J will be a glorious revelation for at least one reason: it will stop this crap. Well, not entirely stop it, but cause a bit of a murmered "Yeah I was kinda not right at all" announcement from The Emperor. Provided that there hasn't been the biggest publicity cover-up ever and Martha is in fact a snotty history student who goes out of her way to chug alcohol and assault mankind. In which case I will gladly apologise to the Emperor before ritualistically disembowling myself for dishonouring my family so. Doubltess all answers will be provided as The Den of Inadequacy's foreign correspondent Mr Campion-Clarke, esq. surely will be burning the episode in question onto a DVD whilst apopletically thrashing his computer with a riding crop screaming "Faster! FASTER!!!"
Wonderfully, this will be my first year spoiler-free, due to my self-imposed exile from OG. Haha! No-one will casually mention who the Doctor murders in cold blood this year...This entry, though, would not be complete without an explanation, and an attached sozzle. You will note my Blakes 7 review has not been fixed. I've been having more than my fair share of internet troubles, and today my brother popped out and updated my personal computer, which promptly destroyed it. My notes were on that... what can I say, as I'm standing next to you? She threw herself under my wheels. It's a dangerous road. A hazardous load.* In the meantime, lets treat the review of Sand as a post-modern minimalistic endeavour that was roaringly successful.
What is there to look forward to in the coming month? Many things. Love, life. A good book. Your own turnip. Love is a canape. Ambition is another kind of fish. Add a dab of lavender to milk. Leave town with an orange and pretend your laughing at it. Seacrest out.
* Dire Straits lyrcis. I dunno why.